Airing My Dirty Laundry

April 30, 2010 § Leave a comment

So just a few short days ago – I read this post on one of my favoritest Mommy Websites out there. Actually, it’s about the only Mommy website I frequent besides Rachel Devine’s Blog. The general idea is – stop judging, or that old Bible idea of “judge not lest ye too be judged” or something like that. I think it’s in Matthew. So I decided to think on all of the dirty, gross, disturbing, “wrong” things that I do that are probably going to ruin my child (or at least keep her in therapy for several years down the line).

And so here goes nothing:

1. The Kid sleeps until 11 a.m. almost every morning. I am completely, totally ashamed of this and if you ask me about it, I will deny it. It’s not that she sleeps that long. I’ve gone in at 10 a.m. to check on her and she is often awake – but groggy. Getting her out of bed at this stage is a horrendous mistake that I will spend the rest of the morning paying for. The kid takes at least 30 minutes to wake up. After 30 minutes is up, she’s all better.

2. I hate cleaning. This is obvious to anyone who has ever visited my house – but to everyone else, there you have it. Also, when I do clean it is often with vinegar and baking soda. I loathe harsh chemicals and their smells. Bleach makes me want to vomit. I do not “disinfect to protect.” And I think that line is a load of bullshit. I’m pretty sure we’ve gotten rid of every single Clorox product in our house. We use Method Cleaning Products – because they’re pretty, all natural and smell yummy.

3. The kid eats off the floor a lot. There is no 5-second rule. Like, at all. If I pick up something she’s dropped, I inspect it for dog hair and then hand it back to her.

4. I don’t bathe her every day. We get baths when we are smelly or every other day.

5. She has a lot of independent play time. I don’t hover. She plays in the back yard while I am doing homework in the living room. She colors with sidewalk chalk, plays some sort of “pass-the-stick” game with the dogs (I haven’t figured out the rules, but I’m pretty sure Paz – the lab mix – always wins), eats grass and picks dandelions.

6. She eats an ungodly amount of Cheerios – only not Cheerios, the generic form of Cheerios. Usually when she gets up in the morning, she’s not a big eater. She’s much like her father in her “morning” habits. She wakes up, lays in bed for a while, wants up and then wants to do other things than eat. Typically, I pour a bowl of “cheeries” as she calls them and put them somewhere accessable to her. By lunch time she’s probably finished the bowl. Often the cheerios come with fruit. They are also our “on the go” snack.

7. I don’t keep up with words she’s said or teeth she’s gotten or any of that other stuff that is in the baby book. I feel kind of bad about it, but then most days, I think “who has time for that crap?” Sure it’d be great to know all of that and I know how fun it is to see little insights into what your life was like as a baby (well I don’t personally, being a third child. My mom picked up a baby book when I was registering for Marley’s shower and said “This reminds me of your baby book.” and I said, “I had a Winnie-the-Pooh baby book?” and my mom replied, “No. It’s completely empty.” True story). I digress. Anyway, I did fill out a lot of her book, but that day-to-day stuff…I didn’t. Sorry.

8. I don’t spank Marley. And that goes against everything I was brought up to believe, but I just can’t. Maybe someday I’ll get fed up and I will, but for now, I ignore tantrums. Even in public spaces. It’s awkward sometimes, but I just don’t give in. I walk away. And she usually gets over it in about 5-15 seconds.

And for all of that, I think I have no right to judge. I try to not look at parents with disdain – ever. And it really bothers me when people judge the way I am raising my own child. It really bothers me. I’ve seen The Look. And I’ve been That Mom. I typically brush it off and chalk it up to the fact that I look like I’m 16. So, the next time I see the kid jumping up and down on his chair at the local Restaurant chain, I’ll just smile and nod, knowing that someday, I’ll likely have my own child doing the same.


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