August 23, 2010 § Leave a comment
So I am about the messiest person I know. I am the only person I know that will let the dishes over run the sink and spill onto the counter tops before picking up a sponge.
I am also the only person I know who does not let people come over to her house on any kind of regular basis because it is very often so messy that you can’t walk five steps without tripping or stepping on something. Something that does not need to be on the floor.
I could blame the toddler. And I could blame the husband. But the truth of the matter is, it’s probably my fault.
The toddler does contribute and the husband does as well, but mostly…mostly it’s just me not picking up after anyone. I wish I knew why.
And then I realized.
Tonight, while picking up the kid’s play area. We have and always have had too much crap.
From the time I moved out of my house, I have been overloaded with crap. Crap I think I need. Crap I want. Crap I don’t need. Crap I don’t want. But I keep it because making the decision to throw it away is a difficult one. But what if that one toy is the one toy that Marley will miss the most?
What if that one object is the one object that I’ll need when I want to redecorate? What if that one set of plates is the set of plates that I’ll need when all the others breaks?
I don’t know. It’s not logical. And I’ve been saying for months that I’m going to just get rid of it all… And tomorrow – I think I really will. I’m going to unplug and do some massive renovations. Clear out the closets of crap we haven’t used since we moved. Organize the crap we have.
And mostly just clean up and make the house livable again…
Wish me luck.
August 19, 2010 § Leave a comment
I’m starting my 365 self-portrait project over.
Why, you might ask, November? Well, that is when the Mr. leaves for Basic Military Training.
So – since I enjoyed the project – when I didn’t procrastinate…I’m going to do one starting in November as that’s another big turning point for us 🙂
June 18, 2010 § Leave a comment
Finals. Done. Photographed and printed. Not what I would call my best work. Probably not my worst work either. Will it pass? Hopefully.
So I’m looking down the barrel of a drastic change in lifestyle here in the coming months. I feel like I’m at this point, this fork in the road. And we can continue down the path we’re on which right now looks about like a great black hole of uncertainty or we can travel down this little fork that’s suddenly sprouted up.
Six months ago, I would have told that little fork to go fork himself…but today, today I am a little older, a little wiser with a couple more life experiences under my belt. And today I say – bring it on fork! Let’s see what you got. Hopefully it’s got a grab bag of opportunity and growing experiences. Challenges, to be sure, but you know what? I need a new challenge. I’ve been challenge deprived for quite some time.
And while many will disapprove of our new joint-venture into this vast world of opportunity and at the same time restriction – I hope we do it. I’m all in. Now it’s up to the lovely husband to toss in his chips and show his hand. Maybe he’s bluffing (which is why I won’t tell you what this fork is until the t’s are crossed and the i’s dotted).
But there you have it, my faithful readers and strange internet peoples, my cryptic vent of how marvelous I feel today at 1:15 in the morning. I am blocking the bad and embracing the good…now all I have to do is send that little ball to his home…because he wants to go home!
May 16, 2010 § Leave a comment
Why is everyone so obsessed with not settling? I happen to like the idea of settling.
Today – I swear to settle into my role as photographer. To get the F over my phobias of crummy pictures, not being artistic enough and other people’s critiques.
Today I am settling into my new house, making it feel like home.
today I am settling into this life. this life that gives me so many oportunities to do so many things (Vegas July 1 anyone? cali next year?)
And yes the title happens to come from some band that i swore off because of the people that typically listen to them, but thank you Pandora, now I have the happy upbeat tempo stuck in my head. 🙂
But here we are. Settling down, settling in. Settling. Not for something less. But for a life of possibility.
Short and sweet today folks. I’ve got vacuuming to do.
May 1, 2010 § Leave a comment
So, I am a huge fan of documentary films. I feel they are a way to see into a part of the world that I previously did not have access to. And I know that I am looking through the eyes of the director/writer/who-ever but that’s okay. Most times documentary films make me think, as I am pretty sure that is the goal of a documentary film.
So I watched this film – No Impact Man which was an ok movie. Kind of lame, kind of silly and “look-at-me!” Which is fine because the guy who did this movie is a writer and his job is to sell books. But the premise was this guy (Collin Beavan) was going to try to be “Impact free” – as in reduce his carbon foot print to nothing – for a year. He gradually phased things out until in Month Six he was living without electricity, not using any kind of carbon producing transportation, eating only locally grown organic food and producing absolutely no trash. He did all kinds of things to achieve this from composting to shopping at a farmers market and returning the milk and egg containers for the farmer to reuse!
And all of this got me and (thankfully) Micah thinking. What can we do? I mean if this guy can go a whole SIX months without electricity – and it wasn’t just him, he had a wife and toddler! – Micah and I can do somethings to reduce the way we are adversely affecting our planet. Mostly I think about trash. And just how much trash Micah and I produce. It’s a lot. A full bin EVERY week. For three people. By the end of the months I want to have a paperless/plastic-less kitchen. That is going to be difficult I know – just think about all of the junk in your kitchen that’s plastic, but it’s not good for the environment. The main problem with all of these world saving measures is that a lot of them take some money up front. And money is not something Micah and I are rolling in.
I want my birthday/Mother’s Day present to be two chickens and a chicken coop. Not that this guy got chickens in the movie, but I really don’t like the way the hatchery system in the US works. In Rome our breakfast eggs were orange and when I asked the priest who had lived in Rome for quite some time, he told me that it was because they were farm raised. Only last night did I realize that when chickens don’t see enough sunlight and are deprived a grass-diet, their yolks turn yellow. Our yellow yolks are the direct side-effect of sick chickens!!! How gross and sad is that? Plus it really doesn’t set well with the nouveau-vegetarian in me to be eating eggs when the main reason I don’t eat meat is that the animals are pumped with so many anti-biotics and treated so poorly before being slaughtered. So hopefully by my birthday I will no longer be giving my money to any kind of egg-farmer. How’s that for local and organic?
Other things I want to do include gardening, composting, and getting rid of all of the junk that we have that we don’t need.
I’m working out a timeline to get these goals accomplished by. I am going to jump in. I am going to do this. And it is going to start with a trip to the farmer’s market tomorrow morning 😀
April 30, 2010 § Leave a comment
So just a few short days ago – I read this post on one of my favoritest Mommy Websites out there. Actually, it’s about the only Mommy website I frequent besides Rachel Devine’s Blog. The general idea is – stop judging, or that old Bible idea of “judge not lest ye too be judged” or something like that. I think it’s in Matthew. So I decided to think on all of the dirty, gross, disturbing, “wrong” things that I do that are probably going to ruin my child (or at least keep her in therapy for several years down the line).
And so here goes nothing:
1. The Kid sleeps until 11 a.m. almost every morning. I am completely, totally ashamed of this and if you ask me about it, I will deny it. It’s not that she sleeps that long. I’ve gone in at 10 a.m. to check on her and she is often awake – but groggy. Getting her out of bed at this stage is a horrendous mistake that I will spend the rest of the morning paying for. The kid takes at least 30 minutes to wake up. After 30 minutes is up, she’s all better.
2. I hate cleaning. This is obvious to anyone who has ever visited my house – but to everyone else, there you have it. Also, when I do clean it is often with vinegar and baking soda. I loathe harsh chemicals and their smells. Bleach makes me want to vomit. I do not “disinfect to protect.” And I think that line is a load of bullshit. I’m pretty sure we’ve gotten rid of every single Clorox product in our house. We use Method Cleaning Products – because they’re pretty, all natural and smell yummy.
3. The kid eats off the floor a lot. There is no 5-second rule. Like, at all. If I pick up something she’s dropped, I inspect it for dog hair and then hand it back to her.
4. I don’t bathe her every day. We get baths when we are smelly or every other day.
5. She has a lot of independent play time. I don’t hover. She plays in the back yard while I am doing homework in the living room. She colors with sidewalk chalk, plays some sort of “pass-the-stick” game with the dogs (I haven’t figured out the rules, but I’m pretty sure Paz – the lab mix – always wins), eats grass and picks dandelions.
6. She eats an ungodly amount of Cheerios – only not Cheerios, the generic form of Cheerios. Usually when she gets up in the morning, she’s not a big eater. She’s much like her father in her “morning” habits. She wakes up, lays in bed for a while, wants up and then wants to do other things than eat. Typically, I pour a bowl of “cheeries” as she calls them and put them somewhere accessable to her. By lunch time she’s probably finished the bowl. Often the cheerios come with fruit. They are also our “on the go” snack.
7. I don’t keep up with words she’s said or teeth she’s gotten or any of that other stuff that is in the baby book. I feel kind of bad about it, but then most days, I think “who has time for that crap?” Sure it’d be great to know all of that and I know how fun it is to see little insights into what your life was like as a baby (well I don’t personally, being a third child. My mom picked up a baby book when I was registering for Marley’s shower and said “This reminds me of your baby book.” and I said, “I had a Winnie-the-Pooh baby book?” and my mom replied, “No. It’s completely empty.” True story). I digress. Anyway, I did fill out a lot of her book, but that day-to-day stuff…I didn’t. Sorry.
8. I don’t spank Marley. And that goes against everything I was brought up to believe, but I just can’t. Maybe someday I’ll get fed up and I will, but for now, I ignore tantrums. Even in public spaces. It’s awkward sometimes, but I just don’t give in. I walk away. And she usually gets over it in about 5-15 seconds.
And for all of that, I think I have no right to judge. I try to not look at parents with disdain – ever. And it really bothers me when people judge the way I am raising my own child. It really bothers me. I’ve seen The Look. And I’ve been That Mom. I typically brush it off and chalk it up to the fact that I look like I’m 16. So, the next time I see the kid jumping up and down on his chair at the local Restaurant chain, I’ll just smile and nod, knowing that someday, I’ll likely have my own child doing the same.
April 20, 2010 § 1 Comment
So today I started a vegetarian diet!
And by diet, I mean, I cut meat out of my diet – not that I’m trying to lose weight by ceasing to eat meat. I’ve always wanted to try being vegetarian. But there was always one thing that stood in my way. One harmless little thing that ruined it every time. BACON. I could not imagine life without bacon. Not that I eat bacon that often. In fact, I rarely eat it. It’s a pain to cook and so I usually just don’t. But it is delicious. Like top five favorite foods delicious. I could eat a huge plate of bacon every day if someone would cook it for me.
But they don’t, so I don’t. But anyway – I thought that bacon would be a hard thing to overcome. Because what is as good as bacon? Nothing.
But you know what comes close?
Bac-O’s. And I always assumed that Bac-O’s were dried out, dehydrated bacon-y goodness.
LIES. Bac-O’s are a lie. They are not bacon. Or any other kind of meat. They are a VEGAN product!
After learning this, I started to re-evaluate the whole vegetarian thing. I think I can do it now. I really do.
So here’s the deal – I’m giving it seven days. I went grocery shopping and bought some veggies and tofu and spices and sprouts. And we’re going to try a meatless diet. And if I can do it for seven days – I can probably do it for another seven. And then I can probably do it for a month. And then I can probably do it for a year.
And after a year, you’re really vegetarian.
I’m going to try doing this the healthy way. So today – I had peanut butter and jelly for breakfast. I had chow mein and spring rolls for lunch, and I had 2 avocado, tomato, sprout, lettuce, feta cheese sandwiches (that totally rocked my world) and some veggie sticks. I’m not doing vegan. Sorry, feta cheese is too delicious. and I doubt there is any kind of substitute for feta cheese.
anywho – here’s to becoming vegetarian! woohoo! I’m actually really excited about it!
I feel like I’ve been meaning and needing to do this a long time. So now, here we go.